I was sick since last week. I don’t know what’s wrong with myself lately. Actually… I do know. We know things that bother us… we just don’t want to blurt it out. Sometimes, scared of the fact to confirm our depression or frustration. We don’t utter things because it becomes confirmed and real.
I am okay now. Anyway, going back to the subject matter. I saw StepMom last night. I can’t remember if it was my 2oth or what, but I like the movie. It has depth. I feel for the mom who got cancer. It’s never easy to leave your children. I don’t have children, yet. I understand how she feels knowing she’ll be leaving the people dear to her. She would want to be there for them when they go to high school and choose their major in college. But she won’t. My mom was at the couch sleeping amidst the thunderstorm last night. I was looking at her. I thank God she is still there. I’ll be 30 in 2 months. I thank God for my mom and dad. Through the days I was at home, I felt I am still their youngest girl. They were taking care of me. My dad even brought Piknik the other day. He knows how much I love the snack. I know I’m not that young anymore, but I feel I am in the comforts of our home.
I’ve been going through a lot of ponderings these past few days. I’ve been trying to be okay in my green room, and waiting on God to finally send a word to lift my hopes up again. Then, I realized that my parents have always been there for me. Sure, we disagree over a lot of things. My decisions, my career, but I will always be their little girl. They will always be my mom and dad.
I will get married and have my own little home. It’s good to know I belong to a great home. A complete set of parents, a happy, home that I will carry in my heart as I pass the lessons learned to my future babies. Actually, I never thought I wanted to have a family… until this year. So, let’s just wait and see. I know what I want now. I want to pass the heart my parents gave us to my future kids and give them the same love my parents taught us.
Thank you, Father for my parents.